Getting Back What I Lost
by snoozin81
Summary: This fanfiction was inspired by the Nickleback song Far Away. Five years after saying good bye to the love of his life Jay is forced to see her again at Sean and Ellie's wedding. What will happen?
1. Part One

Jay unlocked his apartment door and was greeted by the ringing of the telephone. He threw his keys on the table by the door and rushed to answer the phone.

"Hey, Bam Bam, what's up?" Jay asked after checking the caller ID.

"Just wanted to make sure you were coming up for the wedding." Sean said on the other end of the phone.

"I'm the best man I kind of have to be there." Jay replied amused that Cameron sounded so nervous. "I'm headed your way first thing tomorrow morning, so relax. Everything is going to be okay."

"You're right." Sean said taking a deep breath. "Have a safe trip and we'll see you tomorrow."

"Bye." Jay said before hanging up the phone.

Jay placed the phone back in the charger. He still couldn't believe Sean had finally popped the question. He had asked Ellie to marry him and she had said yes. Jay didn't want to admit it but he was jealous as hell. Five years had past and there was still only one girl on his mind. A girl he'd be seeing in less than twenty-four hours.

Jay noticed the answering machine blinking as he snapped out of his day dream. He hit the rewind button before walking into the kitchen. He opened the fridge and pulled out a beer as Spinner's voice rang through the apartment.

"Hey man just calling to see what's going on? I got some great news today, can't wait to tell you about it. I guess I'll see you tomorrow in Wasega."

The next three messages were from Sean.

"Hey, it's Sean. Just wanted to make sure you were still coming up early for the wedding. I could really use your help on some last minute stuff. Call me when you get this."

"It's me again. Give me a call as soon as you get this. And why aren't you answering your cell?"

"Where the hell are you? Call me!"

Jay laughed to his self. "If Cameron doesn't calm down he'll have a heart attack before he even makes it to the church." Jay thought as the last message began to play.

"Jay, its Liza. I know you're leaving tomorrow to go out of town but when you get back we need to talk. This thing between us just isn't working out. Anyway, we'll talk about it when you get back. Have a safe trip."

"Oh well." Jay thought to himself. It had been fun while it lasted. He hadn't been in love with Liza or anyone for that matter in the last five years. He'd left his heart in Toronto before moving in with Sean to finish high school. After getting expelled from Degrassi his future had looked non existent until Sean had talked him into moving to Wasega and finishing school.

That was the last time he'd seen her. The love of his life, the only girl he'd ever love.

"I'm leaving Toronto." He had told her bracing himself for the worst but hoping for the best.

"Good because I can't stand to look at your face anymore." She had replied causing his heart to break.

"I deserve that." He had said. "I just wanted to say goodbye and let you know that I am sorry about everything."

He had turned around and walked away hating himself for hurting her. Not a day had gone by where he hadn't thought about her. She was his reason for getting his life together and with a little help from Sean he had succeeded. He had graduated high school, spent two years training to be a contractor, and started his own business.

He walked back over to the answering machine and hit the delete button erasing all the messages he'd just finished listening to. He walked down the hall to his bedroom. Sitting on the edge of his bed he opened the drawer to his bed side table and pulled out her picture. He traces his finger over her face in the picture his heart aching for the real thing. He sets the picture up beside his bed. With Liza gone he didn't have to hide it anymore.

Jay tilted the beer bottle to his lips thinking, "When exactly did I go soft?" Jay stands up and stretches trying to get the girl out of his head. He pulled his shirt up over his head as he walked towards the bathroom. A long hot shower was exactly what he needed.

The alarm clock woke Jay up at five thirty the next morning. He wasn't looking forward to the long drive a head of him but he was looking forward to seeing Sean and Ellie. He threw the covers off and climbed out of bed. He glanced down at the picture beside the bed and couldn't help but wonder what it was going to be like to see her again.

A half hour later Jay was loaded into his, Dodge, pickup truck and headed towards Wasega Beach. He took a drink of his steaming coffee and turned the radio on. He flipped threw a couple of stations before settling on one that was playing rock music.

Jay turned the radio off as he neared Wasega. He grabbed his cell phone that was hanging from the visor and dialed Sean's number. He picked up on the third ring.

"Hey, man!" Jay said into the phone. "I'm going to swing by the hotel to check in and freshen up but I wanted to let you know I made it."

"Thank God!" Sean replied. "I'm going nuts with all this wedding stuff. See you in a few."

"Later, man." Jay said hanging up as he pulled into the hotel parking lot.

After Jay had checked in and freshened up he walked down to the lobby. He spotted the blond bombshell that had hated him for so long. He walked up to her and put his hand over her eyes.

"Guess who?" He said.

She reached up and removed his hand before turning around and facing him; a huge smile on his face. She wrapped him in a warm friendly hug.

"You better keep your hands off my wife." A familiar voice said teasingly from behind him.

"Spinster!" Jay said turning around and greeting his friend. "It's so good to see you guys."

"You too, it's been way to long, Jay." Emma replied.

"So when are you going to divorce this guy and run away with me?" Jay asked jokingly.

"I'll have to wait about seven months." Emma answered touching her stomach.

"We're having a baby." Spinner added wrapping his arms around Emma's waist.

"Guys, that's so great, congratulations." Jay said ignoring the pang of jealousy that shot through him.

Spinner's cell phone started ringing interrupting the conversation. He looked down at the number and says, "I have to take this. Meet you upstairs, Em. And Jay I'll see you tonight at dinner."

"Wow, Greenpeace, you look great." Jay says after Spinner had disappeared into the elevator.

She playfully hits him on the arm. Looking up into his eyes she says, "We really do miss you, Jay. You should come home more often."

"I know it's just…a lot of bad memories." Jay replied looking down at the floor.

"Have you seen her yet?" Emma asked.

Jay just shakes his head no as he looks back up at Emma.

"Well I better go. Don't worry so much, Jay, everything will work out." Emma says as she hugs Jay.

Jay kisses Emma on the cheek before saying, "I'll see you at dinner tonight."

Emma walks away and Jay turns around and that's when he sees her. The love of his life had just finished checking in and was now looking at him. He flashed her his killer smile as he walked towards her. She smiled back wrapping him in a friendly hug.

"It's good to see you, Lex." Jay said breathing her in.

"It's good to see you too, Jay. You know I always knew you and Emma would end up together." She told him.

"Actually Emma's married to Spinner. They just found out they have a baby on the way." Jay explained.

"Emma and Spinner? Wow that's…interesting." Alex said.

Jay chuckled. "So when do I get to meet this fiancé of your I've heard a lot about?"

He had a last minute business meeting he had to attend to. He'll be here late tonight." She answered.

"We're all planning on going out to dinner tonight. You should join us." Jay offered.

"That sounds good." Alex replied.

"Okay, well I'll let you get settled in. I'm headed over to Sean and Ellie's. I haven't seen them in a couple of months." Jay explained.

"Give me a hand with my bags and I'll go with you." Alex said handing Jay the bag that was flung over her shoulder.

A few minutes later they were sitting in Jay's pickup truck and headed towards Sean and Ellie's.

"I never pictured you as a pickup man." Alex teased.

"It was a little hard to haul stuff to and from the job site in a little Honda." Jay replied.

"It suits you." Alex said studying Jay out of the corner of her eye. "Now let's see what you're listening too."

Alex turned the radio on filling the truck with loud rock music. Alex laughed to her self as she turned to Jay and said, "I guess some things never change."

They pulled up in front of a small white house that was a few blocks from the beach. Both Jay and Alex climbed out and headed to the door. Jay rang the door bell and a few seconds later Ellie opened the door.

"I brought you a present." Jay said stepping to the side to reveal Alex who was standing behind him.

Ellie let out a little squeal as she hugged Alex tightly before stepping back and letting them into the house. Sean walks into the room a red headed four year old on his hip.

"Jay, Jay, Jay, Jay, Jay." The little girl squealed as Sean put her down on the ground. She ran across the room and jumped into Jay's arms.

"There's my princess." Jay said lifting the girl up off the floor. "Look at you all grown up. I thought you were going to stay my little girl forever."

"Uncle Jay everyone has to grow up even you." The little girl said with a giggle causing the four adults to laugh.

"I guess so." Jay replied. "You know I think there just might be a present for you out in my truck. Why don't we go see?"

Jay carried Brianna outside with Sean following. Ellie and Alex stood in the doorway watching.

"He's changed so much." Alex said watching Jay with Sean and Ellie's daughter.

Ellie just shook her head in agreement. She had seen how much Jay had changed from the moment she had moved in with him and Sean after graduation. The one thing that hadn't changed was his love for Alex. He was still head over heels for the girl and here she stood completely clueless. Every time Jay called he would ask Ellie how Alex was and every time Ellie would lie and say Alex was doing great. Ellie knew other wise. Ellie knew there was a lot going on in Alex's life, a lot she wouldn't talk about.

"I just made a fresh batch of ice tea." Ellie said shutting the door. "Would you like some?"

Jay lifted Brianna into the bed of the truck as he opened the door and pulled out a box wrapped in pink sparkly paper. The little girl clapped her hands and squealed in excitement as Jay handed it to her.

"What is it?" She asked taking the package and gently shaking it.

"Why don't you open it and find out." Sean said trying not to laugh at his little girl.

Brianna ripped the paper off tossing it into the bed of the truck. Her eyes grew large with excitement when she saw the redheaded cabagepatch doll.

Jay smiled and said, "Her name's Brianna Alexis, just like you."

"Wow, Uncle Jay this is the bestest present ever." Brianna said sitting the doll down and wrapping her arms around Jay's neck. "Thank you."

Jay lifted Brianna and her baby doll out of the truck and sat them on the ground.

"Why don't you go show mommy." Sean said.

The little girl shook her head yes and rushed back to the house.

"You know you didn't have to bring her anything. She would have been just as excited to see you if you hadn't." Sean told Jay.

"I know but I like to spoil her." Jay answers. "I hate not getting to see her everyday."

"You know you could come and visit a little more often." Sean replied. "We don't see nearly enough of you anymore."

"I know it's just…hard." Jay answers reaching over the truck and picking up the pink wrapping paper.

Sean nods knowing his friends pain before putting a hand on Jay's back and heading him back to the house.

"Uncle Jay, will you color with me?" Brianna asked when Sean and Jay walked through the front door.

Jay walked over and sat down next to Brianna on the floor before asking, "What do you want me to color?"

Brianna flipped through one of her coloring books and pointed to a picture of a princess riding a unicorn.

"A princess for my princess?" Jay asked taking the book from Brianna and grabbing a crayon from the floor.

Ellie and Alex were watching Jay and Brianna from the kitchen table.

"He's really good with her." Alex said sadness in her eyes and voice.

"He always has been from the second we brought her home from the hospital. She'd wake up crying in the middle of the night but by the time Sean or I got to her crib Jay already had her back to sleep. He'll make a great Daddy some day." Ellie responded.

"Did you ever tell him about my miscarriage?" Alex asked lowering her voice to make sure Jay didn't over hear her.

"You asked me not to, Alex, but I think you were wrong in not telling him." Ellie answered.

"I thought I was doing the right thing. Turned out to be just another mistake on the long list of things Alex shouldn't have done." Alex said with sadness her eyes still fixed on Jay.

"Why don't you tell me what's going on? You hardly ever call anymore and when you do it's just to see how we are and not to talk. Is something wrong?" Ellie asked concerned for her friend.

"Everything's fine, El, I promise." Alex replied keeping her eyes on Jay.


	2. Part Two

Later that evening Jay climbed out of the shower and proceeded to get ready for dinner. He was looking forward to an evening with his old friends, a good meal, a couple of beers, and if he was lucky a dance with Lexie. He pulled out his best shirt and a nice pair of jeans. He brushed his hair and grabbed his hat before thinking twice and setting the hat back down. He wasn't conceited but he did look good.

He took the elevator up one floor and walked down the hall to door 418. Jay took a deep breath before knocking on the door. A few seconds later Alex opened the door. Jay took her in; she was beautiful in her short black dress with her hair pulled up on top of her head the way that had always driven Jay crazy.

"Wow, Lexie, you look amazing." Jay said taking a deep breath and finally finding his voice.

She smiled up at him before saying, "Thank you. You don't look so bad yourself."

"I thought maybe we could ride together." Jay said not able to keep his eyes off of her.

"Yeah, let me just grab my bag." She said walking into the hotel room and picking up a little black bag that was sitting on the bed. She turned back to him and followed him out the door.

Jay and Alex meet the others at a little restaurant on the edge of town. It was an expensive restaurant that Ellie had picked out. It was the same restaurant Sean had taken her to the night he had proposed. The six followed the hostess to a large table at the back of the restaurant. Jay pulled out a chair for Alex and she smiled at him as she sat down and he pushed her in. For the first time in a long time Jay was actually happy.

"I'd like to make a toast." Jay said after the waiter had taken their orders and brought everyone but Emma a glass of champagne. "To good friends and great love."

"To the past, present, and future." Alex said beside him.

"To new beginnings and second chances." Spinner said who was sitting next to Alex.

"To our extended family and it's soon to be newest addition." Emma said placing a hand on her stomach.

"To death do us part." Ellie said looking at Sean.

"To dreams that really do come true." Sean said kissing Ellie gently on the lips.

"And last but not least, to any reason to party." Jay said. Everyone laughed as a little bit of the old Jay shined through. They all clicked glasses toasting to everything that had just been said.

Dinner had turned out really nice. Half way through Ellie had pulled out a camera and began taking pictures until she had driven all of her friends completely crazy and had used and entire roll of film. The conversations had been light and warm hearted. After dessert the waiter walked over and laid the bill on the edge of the table.

"Dinner's my treat." Jay said reaching for the bill as his friends began to protest. Jay just ignored them pulling his credit card out of his wallet and placing it in the folder with the bill.

"Fine," Sean said. "But first round of drinks are on me."

Jay chuckled at his friend and slapped him on the back saying, "That's a deal."

After the waiter brought back Jay's credit card the group headed a few blocks over to a club called Xellence. Jay had been there a couple of times when he had come home to visit Sean and Ellie. It was a nice place very classy. The group managed to find a table big enough for all of them near the dance floor. Sean and Ellie went straight to the dance floor and were shortly followed by Emma and Spinner leaving Jay and Alex alone at the table.

"Do you want to dance?" Jay asked standing up and holding out his hand to her. He was silently praying she'd say yes.

Alex shook her head yes and took a hold of Jay's hand as she stood up. She let him lead her out onto the dance floor. Alex wrapped her arms around Jay's neck as he gently put his hands on her waist and gently pulled her closer. She winced in pain as he touched her bruised rib.

"Are you okay?" He asked concerned by the look of pain on Alex's face.

"I'm fine." She lied forcing a smile on her face. "I'm just a little sore form the gym. I just joined and I think I may have over done it the other day."

"Do you want to sit back down?" Jay asked not buying her lame story. He had always been able to tell when Alex was lying and just because he hadn't seen her in five years didn't mean he'd lost the gift.

Alex shook her head no and moved a little closer to Jay. They danced until the song ended and then went back to the table. The others joined them shortly after.

"Sean, would you mind if I danced with Ellie?" Jay asked when Alex excused her self to go freshen up.

"Not at all." Sean answered giving Jay a curios look.

Jay led Ellie out on to the dance floor and pulled her close so she could hear him. "I think there's something wrong with Alex." He told her.

"I know." Ellie replied.

"What do you mean you know?" Jay asked shocked and hurt at the thought that Ellie had lied to him.

"I've sensed it for a while now. She won't tell me what's going on but I am very worried." Ellie explained.

"But every time I called you told me she was doing great. You lied to me?" Jay asked defensively.

"What would you have done? What good would it have done for me to tell you I was worried?" Ellie replied equally defensively.

"You should have told me." Jay said trying to control his anger. "You're supposed to be my friend."

The song ended and Jay walked away from Ellie and headed to the bar. He ordered a liquid cocaine and downed it before ordering another one. He had almost finished the second when Sean walked over to him.

"Is every thing okay, man?" Sean asked sitting down next to his friend at the bar.

"Every thing's just fucking great." Jay replied finishing his drink. He flagged the waiter and ordered another one.

"You should probably slow down." Sean said in concern.

"You're right. Can you give Lexie a ride back to the hotel? I'm going to get out of here." Jay said standing up and laying some money on the counter. He fished around in his pocket and pulled out his truck keys.

"Yeah, of course we will. Why don't you let me drive you back to the hotel?" Sean suggested holding his hand out for the keys.

"I'm not that drunk, Sean. I'll see you tomorrow." Jay replied walking out of the club.

"Can I ride back with you?" He heard the familiar voice ask from behind him when he was half way to his truck. It stopped him dead in his tracks and his body tensed up. He turned around to look at her his heart melting on the spot. He couldn't tell her no even if he had wanted to. He shook his head yes as she walked closer.

They were half way back to the hotel before anyone spoke. Alex was the first one to break the ice. "What's wrong?" She asked looking over at Jay whose jaw was clenched in anger and frustration.

He thought a moment about what he should say. He could lie and tell her he was fine just like she had lied to him or he could confront her about it. "Why don't you tell me, Lexie?"

"I don't know what you're talking about, Jay." Alex said taking her eyes off of Jay and fixing them on the road ahead of them.

"Why are you lying to me?" Jay asked trying hard not to yell it at her.

"Because, Jay, it's none of your business." Alex shot back. "I haven't seen you in five years, what gives you the right to question me?"

"You told me once that you would never be like your mother and yet here you are making up ridiculous lies about mysterious bruises. Your husband to be, does he hit you?" Jay asked as he pulled into the hotel parking lot.

"I told you what happened. If you choose not to believe me that's your problem." Alex said as Jay parked the truck. She put her hand on the door handle and started to get out.

"Please, Alex, just talk to me." Jay begged. Alex could see the hurt and sadness in his eyes and it ate at her heart but how could she tell him about everything that had happened. She'd kept so much form him since they broke up, since he had moved to Wasega.

"If I tell you everything that's happened the last five years you'll hate me." Alex said trying to control the tears that were pushing their way to the surface.

"I could never hate you, Alex." Jay replied wanting so badly for her to confide in him.

"Okay, I'll tell you everything but can we go inside?" Alex asked dreading what was about to happen.

They climbed out of the truck and walked up to Jay's room on the third floor. He unlocked the door and held it open as Alex walked in. He followed behind her letting the door close by itself.

"This isn't easy for me, Jay, so do me a favor and don't judge me until I'm done." Alex said turning around to face Jay once the door was closed. "That day in eleventh grade when I found out I had gonorrhea. The doctor found something else, I was pregnant." Alex went on.

"What?" Jay asked shocked beyond belief. Lexie had been carrying his child and she hadn't told him.

"I was so angry when you told me about you and Amy that I thought about not having it and then I found out about Emma and the anger grew. In the end I decided to keep the baby and then you were telling me goodbye. Ellie tried to get me to tell you but I didn't listen." Alex continued.

"Ellie knew?" Jay asked angry that Ellie had kept yet another secret from him.

"I asked her not to tell you because I wanted to tell you myself but when I went to the doctors to hear the heart beat, there wasn't one. I lost our baby and decided that I couldn't tell you. You were getting your life together and I knew telling you that our baby had died would tear you apart." Alex replied a tear breaking lose and running down her cheek.

Jay sat down on the edge of the bed not trusting his feet to hold him up. He had been a father for a short time and no one had told him. He was devastated over a loss he had known nothing about. The people he had loved the most had betrayed him.

Alex watched Jay her heart breaking at the complete devastation on his face. She whipped the tears from her cheeks before continuing, "The doctors told me I could never have another child and I was okay with that because if I couldn't have our baby then I didn't want any."

"What does any of this have to do with your bruised ribs?" Jay asked keeping his eyes on the floor in front of him. He couldn't look at her knowing she'd lied to him about so much.

"When I met Mike he made it perfectly clear he didn't want children and at the time I was okay with that because I couldn't have any." Alex said trying to find the right words to explain what had happened. "But my biological clock must have started running because lately I haven't been able to stop thinking about our baby. I want to be a mother and its hard knowing that may never happen."

Alex took a deep breath before continuing, "I made the mistake of telling Mike that I wanted to talk to a fertility specialist. He had had a bad day at work and was angry, really, really angry. It's the only time he's ever hit me and he did apologize."

"And that makes it okay?" Jay asked clutching the bedspread beneath him in anger. He was feeling so many things and he couldn't sort them all out. He needed some fresh air but he wasn't sure his legs would support his weight.

"No, it doesn't make it okay but I don't want to be alone anymore. If I can't have a child at least I can have the wedding." Alex replied voicing her childhood fantasy that she had kept to her self for so long.

"I know that people change but I never would have guessed you would have changed this much in just five years. I don't know you anymore, Lexie, and I'm not sure I want to." Jay said finally getting the courage to look at her. "You should leave. I need some time to think. I need to be alone."

Alex nodded her head in sadness as she headed for the door. She opened it but paused and said, "I'm really sorry, Jay. I know I should have told you a long time ago. I hope someday you'll be able to forgive me."

Jay didn't move until the door had clicked closed behind Alex. He wanted to hit something, to throw something, to break something instead he stood up and walked into the bathroom. He turned the water on and waited for it to heat up. He undressed and climbed into the steaming hot shower. He put his hands on the wall and his head under the shower head allowing the water to mix with his tears. How could she not have told him? How could Ellie not have told him? Why had he ever agreed to come home? Jay stayed that way until the water ran cold and his body began to shiver. He climbed out and walked back into the other room still angry, still scared, and still confused.

Jay sat down on the edge of the bed and picked up the phone. "Can you have a bottle of liquor sent to room 302, please." Jay said and then waited for an answer on the other end. "No, it doesn't matter what kind as long as it's strong."

Jay didn't drink often it reminded him of his father and everything Jay had sworn he'd never be, but tonight he needed to forget. For once he needed and wanted to forget all about Lexie, all about their past. Tonight he was going to drown his sorrows in a bottle he would deal with everything else tomorrow.


	3. Part Three

Jay woke up the next morning to the ringing of his cell phone. He tried to get up but his head began to pound and the room began to spin. Now he remembered the other reason he never drank, the hangovers from hell. He stood up and stumbled over to the dresser where he had laid his cell phone the night before.

"Yeah?" Jay said into the phone as he carried it back to the bed and laid back down.

"Where the hell are you? You were supposed to be here half an hour ago." Sean yelled into the phone.

"Shit!" Jay said remembering he was supposed to meet Sean early so they could go pick up the tuxes. "Give me fifteen minutes."

Jay flipped his phone shut and stood back up. He threw some clothes on, brushed his teeth, grabbed his hat and his sunglasses, and headed out of the hotel. He made it to Sean's in under fifteen minutes.

"You look like shit." Sean said when he opened the door for Jay.

"Yeah, well, I feel like it too. Do you guys have some Tylenol? I've got a killer headache." Jay said following Sean into the house. He froze when he saw Ellie sitting on the couch with Breanna.

"Good morning." Ellie said with a cheery smile.

Jay clenched his jaw trying to control his anger. He didn't want to ruin Sean and Ellie's wedding. He didn't want to yell at her before her big day. So he did the only thing he could. "I'll meet you outside," he said to Sean before turning around and walking out the front door.

Sean and Ellie exchanged a curious glance. "What's up with him?" Ellie asked put a voice to Sean's thoughts. Sean just shrugged his shoulders and walked into the bathroom to grab the Tylenol.

Jay sat on the front steps with his head in his hands trying to get his anger under control. He heard the door open and thought it was Sean until he felt a little hand on his arm.

"What's the matter Uncle Jay?" Breanna asked sitting down beside Jay.

"Uncle Jay's not feeling so well, Princess." He replied looking at the little girl beside him.

"Is it your tummy? We have medicine if it's your tummy. It doesn't taste too good but it does help." The little girl replied innocently.

"No baby girl, it's not my tummy, it's my heart. It's sad." Jay replied.

Breanna stood up and walked in front of Jay before wrapping her arms around Jay's neck and giving him a hug. He hugged her back trying to hold back the emotions that were building up inside of him.

"What was that for?" Jay asked when Breanna had pulled away.

"When I'm sad or sick mommy and daddy give me lots of hugs and then I feel better. Did it help?" The little girl asked looking up at Jay with her big brown eyes.

"Yes it did. Thank you." Jay replied and it had helped a little.

"Well if you need another one you know where to find me." The little girl added giving Jay a quick kiss on the cheek before walking back into the house.

"Here!" Sean said coming out of the house and handing Jay the Tylenol and a bottle of water. "Are you ready to go?"

Jay shook his head yes as he popped the pills and drank them down. He dug his keys out of his pocket and tossed them to Sean. "You drive."

Sean studied Jay out of the corner of his eye. Jay had pushed the seat back and had his head resting against the window. Sean was concerned. "Want to tell me what's going on?" Sean asked as he pulled the truck onto the highway.

"No." Jay said flatly.

Sean waited for more but there wasn't any. "Did something happen with Alex?" Sean tried again.

"No." Jay replied still not elaborating. Why wouldn't Sean get the hint? Jay didn't want to talk about it.

They drove the rest of the way in silence. After they picked up the tuxes they decided to grab a bit of lunch. They were sitting in the Fourth Street Dinner when Sean decided to try again.

"Jay, man what's going on with you?" Sean asked concerned by the look of agony on his friends face.

"What's not?" Jay asked sarcastically before launching into telling Sean about his late night conversation with Lexie. "Did you know about it?" Jay asked when he had finished the story.

Sean shook his head no, stunned that Ellie had not only kept a secret from Jay but from him as well. He now understood why Jay was so miserable, why his friend had shut down. "I'm sorry." Sean offered not knowing what else to say.

"Swear to me you didn't know about it." Jay said desperately needing to have someone he could still count on.

"I swear I didn't know, Jay. I would have told you if I had." Sean said reassuringly.

Meanwhile back at the Cameron house, Ellie was playing with Breanna in the back yard when Alex arrived. Alex walked around back and sat down on the picnic table watching Ellie and her daughter play in the sandbox. Ellie looked up and saw Alex, she looked miserable. The same misery she had seen on Jay's face earlier that da was now on Alex's face. Ellie walked over and sat down across from Alex.

"You are the second person that's come to my house today looking like death warmed over. A wedding is supposed to be a time to celebrate not keel over." Ellie said trying to cheer her friend up.

"I told him last night. I told him everything." Alex replied looking up at Ellie with blood shot eyes.

Ellie could tell Alex had been crying which was unusual because Alex never cried. She hurt for her friend. She had known all along that Alex had never stopped loving Jay, had never stopped morning the loss of their child. "I take it, it didn't go well?" Ellie asked her heart breaking for her best friend.

"He hates me and I don't blame him it. You were right, El, I should have told him a long time ago." Alex said as the tears broke loose again.

"Auntie Alex, are you sad too?" Breanna asked coming up to the table the two women were sitting at.

Alex just shook her head yes in response not trusting her voice to speak it for her.

"Is it because of you heart?" Breanna asked climbing up onto the seat beside Ellie.

Ellie and Alex looked at Breanna in confusion. "What do you mean, sweetie?" Ellie finally asked.

"Well, Uncle Jay told me he was sad this morning because of his heart. Does your heart hurt too Auntie Alex?" Breanna continued.

Alex shook her head yes as she looked at the little girl. The little girl that was one year younger then her child would have been, the little girl that Jay had looked so cute coloring with yesterday. Alex's heart broke for the family she wanted so badly and may never have.

"I better get back to the hotel. I told Mike I wouldn't be gone very long." Alex said standing up from the table.

"We'll see you tonight for girl's night out, right?" Ellie asked getting up also and picking Breanna up.

"Yes and I'll try not to be such a drag." Alex said giving Ellie a slight smile before heading around the house to her car.

Jay drove back to Sean's house since the Tylenol finally dulled his headache enough that he could see straight. "Are you coming in?" Sean asked when they stopped in his driveway.

"No. I'm going to try and grab a nap before tonight." Jay replied as Sean started to climb out of the truck. "And Sean, do me a favor, don't let me drink any thing stronger then a beer."

"Sure thing, man. I'll see you at seven." Sean said as he climbed out of the truck and headed towards the house. He needed to talk to Ellie. He needed to hear it from her.

"El?" Sean called out as he entered the house.

"We're in here." She called back to him from the kitchen.

Sean entered the kitchen to find Ellie and Breanna covered in flour. He couldn't stop him self from laughing. "That's some mess you got there." He said in between laughs.

"We're making cookies for Mommy's party tonight." Breanna said jumping down from the stool she was sitting on and rushing over to Sean with a cookie in her hand. "Wanna taste?"

Sean took the cookie that his daughter was holding out to him and took a bite. "Ummm, that's the best cookie I've ever had. Did you make that one?"

Breanna shook her head yes in excitement before turning back around and climbing back up on her stool. "Did you hear that Mommy? Daddy said my cookies are the bestest." Breanna said flashing Ellie her killer smile.

"El, can I talk to you for a minute?" Sean asked as Ellie returned her daughters smile.

"Sure Sean." Ellie answered before turning to Breanna and saying, "Mommy will be right back. Don't touch the oven or the hot tray."

Ellie walked around the counter and followed Sean into the other room. "What's going on?" She asked when Sean had turned around and looked at her.

"Is it true that you knew Alex was pregnant and you didn't say any thing?" Sean asked trying unsuccessfully to hide the hurt he was feeling that she hadn't confided in him.

"Yes." Ellie answered shaking her head yes also just in case the word didn't come out. "Alex asked me not too. She's my friend Sean, what was I supposed to do?"

"Jay's supposed to be your friend too, El. Hasn't he been through enough?" Sean asked his voice rising a little in defense of his best friend.

"You think I enjoyed seeing him hurting? You think I enjoyed lying to him? It wasn't my place to tell him Sean." Ellie shot back trying to fight the urge to cry.

"I'm sorry I didn't mean to yell. It's just…He's hurting so bad and I don't know how to help him." Sean stated as he sat down on the couch.

Ellie sat down beside him and put her arm around him. "I know," was all she said.

Jay walked into the hotel and spotted Spinner talking to a man Jay had never seen before.

"Jay!" Spinner called motioning for Jay to join them.

"What's up, Spinster?" Jay asked when he'd reached his friends side.

"Have you met Mike?" Spinner asked. "You know Alex's fiancé."

Mike held his hand out to Jay and Jay accepted it shaking it a little harder then he normally would have. The guy was tall with blond hair and brown eyes. He looked average, he looked normal, just like all of Alex's mom's boyfriends, just like Jay's father, just like every other abusive man Jay had come across in his life. To say that Jay didn't like the guy would be an under statement, Jay hated the guy. He wanted to punch the guy from now until eternity.

"It's nice to meet you." Jay lied. "If you guys will excuse me, I've got a killer headache and want to grab a nap before tonight."

"Are you okay?" Spinner asked with concern.

"Sure, I just want to be rested up for tonight. See you guys later." Jay said continuing on his way to the elevator.

Once Jay was safely in his room he let out a loud sigh. He collapsed on his bed using his cell phone as an alarm clock he set it to go off in an hour. He rolled over and fell asleep dreaming about Alex and their baby he had known nothing about.

_Jay was standing beside a hospital bed holding Lexie's hand and telling her to push. Alex was squeezing his hand so hard it was turning purple but he couldn't feel it due to the adrenaline that was pumping through him. A few seconds later the room was filled with a baby's cry. Jay looked down at Alex and his new son that she was holding. He pushed the hair off of her forehead and kissed her gently. They were a family the way they were supposed to be._

Jay woke up covered in sweat his body shaking uncontrollably. Hiss cell phone began chirping at him that it was time to get up. Jay sat there for a moment trying to get the dream out of his head. What was it Sean had said the other night about dreams that really do come true? He wanted Lexie and their baby. He wanted the family from his dream.

After about fifteen minutes Jay climbed out of bed. He walked into the bathroom to get ready for guys night in. All he really wanted to do was climb back into bed and sleep the rest of his miserable life away.

Alex sat in Emma's hotel room helping her set up for the girl's night party. Alex wasn't really looking forward to the party she was nervous that Jay and Mike would be spending the evening together and she wouldn't be there to keep the peace. She had no idea what was going to happen and that bothered her.

"Are you okay?" Emma asked sensing her friend wasn't entirely into the pre party planning.

"Yeah, I'm just worried about tonight." She explained. She had told Emma about her conversation with Jay last night and her uneasiness about the upcoming boy's night in.

"You don't need to worry, Alex. Jay's changed a lot the last few years. He's gotten really good at controlling his anger." Emma replied trying to ease her friends mind.

"I know but this is different, Em. He's always had a short fuse when it comes to a man hitting a woman." Alex said.

"And he should. There's never a time where that's okay, Alex." Emma said. She missed the old Alex, the Alex that would have stood up for her self. She missed the Alex that would never have given Mike a second chance to hit her. Maybe if she tried hard enough she could reach a little part of the old Alex that was hidden inside the new one.

"I don't need one of your cause girl lectures, Emma." Alex snapped.

"I know that but I'm your friend and I'm worried about you." Emma replied.

"I wish I could go back and do my whole life over." Alex said more to her self then to Emma. "There's so much I would change."

"What about Jay, or Ellie, or Sean, or even me for that matter? If you were to relive your life would we still be a part of it?" Emma asked defensively.

"All of you would be better off with out me," Alex replied, "Especially Jay."

"You are so clueless!" Emma shouted causing Alex to jump a little. "Jay loves you. He always has."

"But look at how great his life got when he left. Look at how much better his life has been with out me." Alex said as the tears started to slide down her cheeks.

"Don't you get it? You're the reason he got his life together. You're the reason he finished high school. You're the reason he's worked so hard to be who he is now. He did all of this for you Alex. So he could give you a better life, the life you deserve." Emma explained sitting down next to Alex on the bed and putting her arm around Alex's shoulders. She could tell her friend had had no idea what she had meant to Jay or how far he would go to give her everything she'd ever wanted.

"I've messed up everything, Emma. He'll never forgive me for this." Alex cried on Emma's shoulder.


	4. Part Four

**A/N: In my last post I said that Jay didn't want to yell at Ellie the day before her big day. That was an error it was not the day before the wedding it was two days before. I have fixed that a long with a few spelling errors and grammatical errors. Sorry for the mix up hope you keep reading and that you like it. Reviews are welcomed.**

Jay arrived at Sean's a little early. He was the first one there so he was helping Sean set up. It had been Spinner's bright idea to have the stag party at Sean's house but where was Spinner now that there was work to be done?

"I need to ask you one more favor." Jay said firing up the grill in the back yard.

"What's that?" Sean asked as he set up some camping chairs around the back yard.

"Keep Alex's fiancé away from me." Jay stated flatly and Sean could tell he wasn't joking.

"I'll do my best." Sean replied as Spinner, Mike, and Craig walked into the back yard. Sean could see Jay tense up when he saw Mike. This was going to be an interesting night.

Jay waved to the group who had just entered the back yard before walking into the house. He needed a second to get his anger in check. He started pulling steaks and hamburgers out of the freezer and getting them ready for the grill.

"You okay, man?" Sean asked coming into the house.

"Yeah, I'm just hungry." Jay replied pouring some grilling sauce on the stakes to avoid looking directly at Sean.

"Just so you know I'm proud of you for walking away." Sean said patting Jay on the back.

"Gee, I love you too Cameron." Jay said sarcastically rolling his eyes at his best friend. They both laughed.

"Need some help with the food?" Sean offered.

"No, I got it. You should go socialize or what ever it is that grooms to be do." Jay said unwrapping the hamburger and shaping them into patties.

"Alright yell if you need anything." Sean replied before walking back outside to an ever growing number of guys.

A few hours later all the guys except Jay and Sean were pretty well trashed. Jay was looking through Sean's CD collection when Mike walked up to him.

"So you're the high school sweetheart?" Mike asked slurring his words slightly.

Everything inside of Jay was screaming deck the guy and the old Jay would have. The new Jay however just shook his head yes and continued looking at the CDs.

"I've heard she was a real bitch back then. I guess I owe you for softening her up for me." Mike said slapping Jay on the back.

Jay was trying hard to control the anger that was boiling up inside of him. What the hell gave this guy the right to call his Lexie a bitch? Jay looked around for Sean but didn't see him anywhere. So Jay turned around and started to walk away.

"What's your problem?" Mike shouted stopping Jay in his tracks. Jay turned around just as Spinner walked up to Mike.

"He's still in love with Alex." Spinner shot out to drunk to realize what he was saying.

Mike shot Jay a look of pure rage. It was a look Jay was all too familiar with, a look that was always on his father's face right before he'd beat Jay's mother. Jay could feel his control start to slip away. He wanted to beat this guy so bad he could almost taste it. Lucky for Jay Sean showed up.

"What's going on?" Sean asked stepping between Jay and Mike.

"Dumb ass over there thought it'd be fun to tell Mike I'm still in love with his fiancé." Jay explained pointing at Spinner.

"What?" Sean asked completely in shock that Spinner had been so stupid. Okay maybe not completely in shock it was Spinner after all.

The door bell rang and Craig went to answer it. "Looks like we're in trouble," Craig said coming back into the room followed by two women in police uniforms.

"Strippers!" Spinner yelled rushing over to where the girls had started to dance. Mike followed Spinner across the room but not before shooting Jay another angry look.

"Where were you?" Jay asked Sean once Mike had left.

"The bathroom. How was I supposed to know all hell would break loose if I took a five minute bathroom break?" Sean replied.

"This really wasn't a good idea. I'm going to head back to the hotel." Jay said pulling his truck keys out of his pocket. "Enjoy your party."

"You don't have to leave." Sean said trying to convince his friend to stay.

"If I stay, he'll be leaving in an ambulance." Jay explained. "I'll see you tomorrow."

Jay walked out of the house and climbed into his truck. He popped in his hard rock mix and turned the volume all the way up. He drove around town for a little while before heading back to the hotel.

The girls had all gathered in the lobby of the hotel before climbing into the limo that Emma had rented and hitting the town. They had a nice dinner and then headed over to Xellence for some drinking and dancing.

Alex watched her friends dance together on the dance floor. She really didn't want to be there but she hated to bail on Ellie. Alex took a sip of her Jack and Coke hoping to erase all thought of Jay from her head but it wasn't working.

"Are you okay?" Ellie asked coming off the dance floor and sitting down next to Alex.

"Yeah, but would you hate me if I just headed back to the hotel? I'm not really in the party mood and I feel like I'm just bringing everyone else down." Alex said.

"Of course not. I'm just glad you came at all." Ellie said hugging her friend. "Rest up; we have a long couple of days ahead of us."

"See you in the morning." Alex said finishing her drink and standing up.

Alex headed outside and hailed a cab. She had the driver go past Sean's house so she could see for her self that everything was okay. As they drove past Alex noticed that Jay's truck was no where around and she wondered why he wasn't there.

She then told the driver to take her back to the hotel. Once they pulled up to the hotel she paid and walked inside.

Jay walked into the hotel. As he neared the elevator he saw the door beginning to close. "Hold the elevator." He called out speeding up to catch it. As the doors slid back open Jay found him self fact to face with Alex.

Jay didn't know why but the site of her caused him to take a step back. He stood there for a moment before saying, "I'll catch the next one."

Alex couldn't stop starring at Jay as the elevator doors slid shut. He couldn't even stand to be in the same elevator with her how would he ever be able to forgive her? How could she not have known that Jay had still been in love with her? How could she not have known that she was still completely in love with him? Alex reached up and wiped away the tear that had broken loose and was running down her cheek.

Alex woke up the next morning in pain. She climbed out of bed and walked into the bathroom. She splashed some cold water on her face before looking in the mirror. She cringed when she saw the black and blue marks that had formed on her neck over night.

Mike had come back from the party completely trashed. He'd started yelling something about ex's and love and had grabbed Alex by the neck, shoving her up against the wall. Alex had been terrified. More terrified then she'd been since she'd moved out of her mother's house years ago.

Alex tried to remember when exactly she had changed. When had she lost the tough bad ass that didn't take shit from anyone part of her self? When had she become her mother?

When Jay had left Toronto a part of Alex had gone with him but she still had her attitude. She still dished it out when ever she could. But after the miscarriage a part of her had died. She had felt so alone with out Jay, with out their baby. She had meet Mike a few weeks after that and he had eased the pain some what but the damage had already been done. Alex had changed and nothing would ever bee the same again. She didn't want to be alone and with Mike she wasn't. She now understood what her mother had meant years ago when Alex had asked why she let those men hit her and her mother had said, "Because, baby, I don't want to be alone."

Alex snapped back to reality still looking at her reflection in the mirror. How was she going to be able to cover all of them up? She didn't want to worry her friends and she really didn't want Jay to know about them.

Jay woke up to someone knocking on his door. He climbed out of bed and stumbled over to the door. He opened it to find Ellie on the other side. Jay fought the urge to shut the door in her face. Instead he stepped back and let her inside.

"We need to talk." Ellie said walking past Jay and into the room.

"Why, you want to lie to me some more?" Jay asked sarcastically shutting the door and following Ellie into the room.

Ellie looked up at Jay with sadness in her eyes. "I'm sorry that I lied to you and I'm really sorry that I kept things from you, but Alex is my friend."

"That doesn't make it okay, El. We're supposed to be friends too." Jay replied.

"I know that and I know that what I did was wrong but she was hurting so bad Jay. Her whole life was crumbling down around her. I know what it's like to feel like you've lost everything. I just wanted to be there for her." Ellie said trying to explain.

"I should have been there for her!" Jay replied.

Ellie hated to see Jay so upset. She hated the thought of him and Alex not ending up together. "So be there for her now. She's hurting just as bad as you are." She continued.

"She's had five years to deal with this, Ellie. I haven't even had five days." Jay said looking into Ellie's eyes.

"It doesn't mean she's hurting any less." Ellie said pausing briefly so that her words could sink in. "At least think about what I've said."

Jay just shook his head yes as he pulled Ellie into a hug. They walked to the door together and Jay held it open for Ellie.

"Don't throw away your chance at happiness." Ellie said handing Jay a gift bag before heading down the hall away from him.

Jay shut the door behind Ellie. He carried the bag back to the bed and pulled out a 5x7 picture frame. He turned it over to find a picture of him and Alex from dinner the other night. He sat down on the edge of the bed starring at the picture. Was he still in love with her? He wasn't sure he could forgive her and he wasn't sure he could forgive himself if he didn't.

Jay stood in the front of the church trying to keep his eyes off of Alex. Rehearsal was getting ready to start they were just waiting for the preacher to show up. At this time tomorrow Ellie and Sean would be happily married and Jay would be preparing for his trip back to Montreal.

"It's never good when the preacher's late." Jay said jokingly to Sean as he sat down on the edge of the stage.

"That's not funny, man." Sean said nervously.

"You having a heart attack the day before the wedding is not funny." Jay said. "Would you relax?"

Just then the preacher walked in and Jay could hear Sean let out the breath he had been holding. Jay shook his head; he'd never seen Sean so uptight.

After the rehearsal they all meet up at a small restaurant for dinner. Jay hated being at the same table with Mike. He thought about dismissing himself and heading back to the hotel but the barely visible bruises on Lexie's neck kept him sticking around. He didn't want to be worried about her but he wasn't so sure the new Alex would be able to stand up for her self.

After dinner Mike and Alex disappeared and Jay figured they had headed back to the hotel so he told Sean he was tired and would see him tomorrow before heading out of the restaurant. He spotted Mike and Alex in the parking lot. Mike had Alex pushed up against a black Ford Expedition that Jay assumed was Mike's. Jay walked closer staying out of view until he saw Mike's hand fly back as if her were going to hit Alex. Jay sped up and grabbed Mike's arm as he started to come down hard aimed at Alex's face.

"I don't think so." Jay growled as he stepped in between Alex and Mike.

"Mind your own fucking business. You're not her boyfriend anymore." Mike growled back.

"No but I am her friend and if I ever even think you're hurting her again I'll kill you." Jay threatened as he let go of Mike's arm.

"I don't know who the hell you think you are but if you think you can take me let's go." Mike said stepping back and looking Jay up and down. "Personally I think you're a pussy."

"Go inside." Jay said to Alex as he stepped closer to Mike.

Alex rushed back inside to find Ellie and Sean and hopefully stop the fight.

"Look, man, I don't want to fight you." Jay said once Alex was safely inside the restaurant.

"That's what I though, you're a pussy." Mike said. "I guess it's a good thing I'm not."

Mike slammed Jay back against the SUV before punching him in the stomach. Jay fought back as people began to come out of the restaurant to see what was going on. A short time later the cops had arrived.

"I want this man arrested for assault." Mike yelled at one of the officers.

The officer proceeded to handcuff Jay and put him in the back of a police car. Another officer was asking for anyone who had seen anything but no one had.

"Care to tell us your side of the story?" One of the officers asked Jay.

Jay just shook his head no as he caught sight of Alex from the corner of his eye.

"Suite yourself." The officer said shutting the police car door on Jay.

Alex watched in shock and horror as the police car pulled away with Jay in the back seat. She looked back at Mike who was giving a statement to another police officer. She felt the anger rising up inside of her. Maybe the old Alex wasn't as dead as she'd thought.

"What the hell did you do?" Alex asked walking up to Mike after all the police officers were gone.

"What I had to." Mike yelled back grabbing a hold of Alex's arm a little too tightly.

Sean started to step forward but Ellie stopped him. "She needs to do this her self, Sean." She said.

"Take your hand off of me." Alex said as the fight in her started to come back.

"Or what?" Mike dared.

"Or I'll tell the police exactly how I got these bruises on my neck and ribs." Alex threatened.

Mike loosened his grip but didn't let go. Alex jerked her arm out of Mike's hand before saying, "Pack your shit and get out of my hotel room. We're done!"

Alex walked back to where Ellie and Sean were standing. Ellie hugged Alex tight then put her arm around Alex's shoulder as they walked to Sean's car. They drove in silence to the police station.

Once they reached to station they were told that Jay wasn't going to be released until the next morning. Alex tried to explain what had happened but because she hadn't seen who had thrown the first punch there was nothing they could do. Ellie tried to talk Alex into staying the night with her and Sean but Alex refused.

Back at the hotel Alex walked up to the front desk and requested another room. She was signing for it when Emma walked up to her.

"How's Jay?" Emma asked.

"I don't know. They won't release him until morning." Alex replied exhaustion setting in.

"First thing in the morning we'll go get him out." Emma offered putting an arm around Alex's shoulder.

Alex shook her head yes and walked with Emma to the elevator. She mad her way to her new room and was asleep before her head even hit the pillow.

The next morning Alex had Sean, Spinner, and Craig walk her to her old hotel room to get her stuff. Luckily Mike wasn't there. After she showered and dressed she and Emma drove to the police station to pick up Jay.

"Can I help you ladies?" The police officer behind the desk asked.

"We're here to pick up our best man." Emma replied. "Our friend is getting married in less then an hour and you have the best man behind bars."

"Name?" The officer asked.

"Jason Hogart." Alex replied.

"One moment." The officer replied.

A few seconds later Jay was brought out and the three left in a hurry to get to the church.

"Sean's got your tux with him in the Men's dressing room. Go get ready we'll see you out there." Emma said once they got to the church. She gently pushed him towards the Men's dressing area before turning around, grabbing Alex's hand, and pulling her towards the woman's dressing area.

Jay stood in front of the church watching Alex walk down the aisle. She was beautiful in her long, dark blue, bridesmaids' dress that was hugging her in all the right places. Her black hair was down around her shoulders covering the bruises Jay had seen last night. His heart raced like he was seeing her for the first time and despite everything they'd been through he knew he still loved her.


	5. Part Five

The wedding went off with out a hitch. Ellie and Sean were announced as husband and wife and Sean kissed his new bride. The wedding party began their retreat back down the aisle. Jay and Alex stepped forward to make their way back down Alex slipping her arm through Jay's arm and he smiled down at her.

At the reception Jay was standing alone, leaning against a wall, eating some little finger sandwiches when Emma walked up to him.

"You know you still lover her." Emma said taking one of the sandwiches off Jay's plate.

"I do but I don't know that I can forgive her." Jay said watching Alex across the room talking to Sean and Ellie.

"Look at Craig and Manny. He was able to forgive her after she aborted their child. Alex didn't do anything wrong except not tell you that she was pregnant. Why can't you forgive her?" Emma asked looking up at Jay.

"Greenpeace, sometimes you're too smart for your own good." Jay replied hugging her quickly before making his way over to the table Alex was sitting at.

Alex looked up at Jay when he walked up to her seat. "Do you want to dance?" He asked her offering his hand. She accepted and followed him out onto the dance floor as the song "Far Away" by Nickelback began to play. Alex wrapped her arms around Jay's neck and he gently pulled her close, breathing her in.

_**This time, This place  
Misused, Mistakes  
Too long, Too late  
Who was I to make you wait  
Just one chance  
Just one breath  
Just in case there's just one left  
'Cause you know,  
you know, you knowThat I love you  
I have loved you all along  
And I miss you  
Been far away for far too long  
I keep dreaming you'll be with me  
and you'll never go  
Stop breathing if  
I don't see you anymoreOn my knees, I'll ask  
Last chance for one last dance  
'Cause with you, I'd withstand  
All of hell to hold your hand  
I'd give it all  
I'd give for us  
Give anything but I won't give up  
'Cause you know,  
you know, you knowThat I love you  
I have loved you all along  
And I miss you  
Been far away for far too long  
I keep dreaming you'll be with me  
and you'll never go  
Stop breathing if  
I don't see you anymoreSo far away  
Been far away for far too long  
So far away  
Been far away for far too long  
But you know, you know, you know I wanted  
I wanted you to stay  
'Cause I needed  
I need to hear you say  
That I love you  
I have loved you all along  
And I forgive you  
For being away for far too long  
So keep breathing  
'Cause I'm not leaving  
Hold on to me and  
never let me go**_

"I'm so sorry." Alex whispered in Jay's ear as the song ended.

"Shh, Lexie, I love you." Jay whispered back as they continued to dance even thought the song had ended.

**A year and a half later.**

Jay unlocked his apartment door and was greeted by the ringing of the telephone. He threw his keys on the table by the door and rushed to answer the phone.

"Hey, Bam Bam, what's up?" Jay asked after checking the caller ID.

"Just wanted to make sure you guys are still coming up for the holidays." Sean said on the other end of the line.

"You bet we wouldn't miss it." Jay replied.

"A little help." Alex called from the doorway carrying a bunch of shopping bags her pregnant belly sick out as she struggled through the door.

"I have to go Sean. We'll see you guys next week." Jay said hanging up the phone and rushing to Lexie's rescue. He took several bags from her hand as he kissed her gently on the lips.

"You know I love you even if you are a jerk sometimes." Alex said after the kiss.

"Well, Mrs. Hogart the feelings mutual." Jay replied setting the bags down on the living room floor.

**THE END**

**Disclaimer: I do not in any way own Degrassi, the characters, or the song featured in this story.**

**A/N: Hope everyone enjoyed this. I know I enjoyed writing it.**


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